It seems dating has lost all hope. In today’s world, we spend our time looking for quick fixes. We get likes, comments, and messages on social media that fuel our sense of self. And whether you want to admit it or not, our modern society has made genuine long term dating nearly impossible. So, what will happen to us? Are we doomed to pointless one night stands, short term relationships and constant loneliness? For many people, the answer is yes—but we have the power to change this.
When in Doubt, Tinder It Out
Online dating has unfortunately wrecked the idea of a healthy relationship for most of its users. This is true for a few reasons: Number one, it incentivizes the socially inept, looking for genuine love, to continue to avoid social interactions out of fear of rejection. Number two, it makes it too easy to find a partner. Without any hard work, or the confidence it takes to approach someone, the relationship is empty of gratitude. It’s like receiving money without working, like getting fit without exercise and diet. We will never truly appreciate a partner unless we put in the work to not only meet them, but to maintain the relationship. And number three, online dating is surface-level only. This is the biggest problem. A genuine long term love will never be built on the surface. Beauty will always fade, and if you are in a relationship based on looks, it is inevitably going to fail.
"I Can't Trust Him-- We Met on Instagram"
When people send me a private message on Instagram or Facebook, two things happen: First, my ego thinks “Hell yeah. Of course she messaged me. Who wouldn’t want this?” Then, after a period of time, whether we meet up or not, I begin to think “If she DMs me then of course she does it to others.” I then start to realize that I am not that special. No one is. So, ultimately the foundation for trust has been broken. And regardless of where you and your partner meet, finding someone else is extremely easy (especially if your Instagram is poppin’).
Why Our Grandparents Are Happier Than Us
At one point in time, you had to approach another human to talk to them. You had to get their attention and be interesting enough to keep it. Most importantly, they were right there in front of you, living and breathing. Much of this is lost with online dating. Swiping through pictures turns people into objects—or pieces of meat. Don’t like his smile? Swipe left. Boring bio? Swipe left. She has a picture with a baby? Swipe left. What could have been a beautiful interaction face-to-face becomes a soulless rejection based on sex appeal. People might say they are just looking for casual sex—but someone always ends up getting hurt.
What Do We Do?
We must find love within ourselves and trust God. When it comes to trusting God, we find we are validated through the most powerful source, and things always happen the way they are supposed to. This means that we will find the love of our life if we are patient enough to let God provide. Spending countless hours searching for a partner online is not only a waste of time, but keeps us from the power within– the power that will allow us to experience true love. Be patient and trust God. The love of your life is out there waiting for you.